Vigil
by Charlotte Haddix
Summary: Post Into Darkness. Kirk wakes up in a hospital bed, Spock beside him. Time for some revelations.


Spock had an entirely logical reason for keeping vigil at Kirk's bedside every night he was unconscious. The captain had saved his life. Spock had an obligation to make sure the captain was in stable, conscious state. Emotions were not involved in the slightest. Vulcans did not feel.

Spock also had a logical reason for holding Kirk's contact helped Spock gauge the captain's strength better than machines could. It was not intimate in the slightest. It was entirely logical. There was no irrational fear that, despite all of Doctor McCoy's assurances that Kirk would wake up, despite the machines informing any passerby that captain's heart was beating, that Jim was going to die. Spock was not worried. He was not clutching Jim's hand like a lifeline. He did not cry at night. Vulcans do not cry. He never stroked Jim's face to remind himself that Jim was real.

But there was one thing Spock couldn't justify logically in his head. Lieutenant Uhura came by sickbay on the first day Kirk was out. She laid a hand gently on Spock's shoulder. "Is he going to be okay?" she whispered.

"Doctor McCoy was optimistic, but if the blood is to be effective, it will take, at the very least, a week," Spock responded quietly, not even bothering to face Nyota.

"And you're going to stay here until then?" she prompted.

"Affirmative," he said, finally turning in his chair to face Uhura.

Uhura smiled slightly, placing her palm on Spock's cheek. "Spock, I think it might be best for you if we stop seeing each other."

Somewhere in his head, Spock wanted to disagree. He wanted to say that there was no logical reason to terminate their romantic relationship, but he didn't say anything. He just nodded. "I believe that would be benecial to both of us. What prompted this?"

Uhura shrugged and removed her hand, kissing Spock on the top of his head. "I really care about you Spock, and I just don't think you need me right now. You need your friend."

Spock nodded again, something very uncharacteristically human for him to do. "I also care for you, Nyota."

"I know. That's why I'm not angry, and also why you have no reason to feel guilty or angry or upset." Upon seeing Spock's face she amended her statement. "Not that you would feel like that anyway." She gave a wry smile. "Tell me if there are any changes," Nyota said, nodding at Kirk.

"I will," Spock said.

"Take care of yourself, Spock," she said quietly as she turned and walked back out of medbay.

Logically, there was no reason Spock had to break up with Uhura. But he did anyway. And the best reason Spock could give was lying in a hospital bed in front of him.

While Jim was unconscious, he only had one dream. There was a warm hand occasionally stroking his face. Jim's left hand always being held firmly someone Jim couldn't see. Whoever the person was, they didn't talk much. Just the occasional "Jim, Jim." Even more rarely, "Please, wake up." And that was it.

To Jim's credit, he tried very hard to wake up. The voice was sad and wanted Jim awake, so Jim tried. But everything was heavy, and Jim couldn't even wiggle a toe.

After what could have been months of trying to move, Jim heard a new voice. "He's been getting stronger. He should be up by tomorrow." The person holding his hand tightened their grip slightly and said, "Thank you, Doctor McCoy." McCoy... That name sounded familiar. The other voice, McCoy, Jim supposed, said something else.

"It's a comfort to know someone is so devoted to him. But uh, you're welcome. Listen Spock, you really should get out of here while you can. Eat something. Lord knows you need it. And sleep."

The voice at his hand responded snappily, "Negative."

Spock... He knew a Spock. From somewhere, a long time ago. He knew a McCoy too.

But they were from a different place, a different time. Back before everything was so heavy.

"Okay," the voice, McCoy, said. "Stay. But you have to at least eat. Doctor's orders. I'll get you something," it continued.

"That would be acceptable. Thank you," the other voice replied.

After a while, with more hand holding and whispered urges to wake up, some of the heaviness subsided. Jim was able to turn his head. He still couldn't open his eyes. Until one minute he could.

Very slowly, Jim opened one eye. He was rewarded his efforts with a blinding amount of light. Blinking several times, Jim groaned and opened both eyes. Sickbay. He should have known. Suddenly, the grip on his hand tightened. Right. He wasn't alone.

"Captain?" a voice to his right whispered.

"... Spock?"

He was awake. Finally. After two and a half weeks of pushing his duties onto Sulu, Spock was able to see Jim wake up.

"Captain?" he whispered, squeezing Jim's hand slightly.

"...Spock?" Jim mumbled. His voice was hoarse, and he still seemed to be half asleep.

Spock sighed very quietly, almost to subtle to hear. Before Jim could respond, McCoy rushed in.

"Jim!" he cried, smiling.

"Bones," Jim murmured, rubbing his eyes. "What happened?"

Spock tried to release Jim's hand, but Jim clung to it tightly, preventing Spock from leaving unless he wanted to break Jim's fingers.

"What do you remember?" McCoy prompted.

"I was messing with the warp core, and I fell. And Spock came to me, and we talked through the glass, and... I think I blacked out? How did you manage to get me out? I should have been killed by the radiation."

McCoy frowned. "Well, Jim. About that. You did die. Oh, don't look like that. You were barely dead. Let me finish. Khan's blood managed to revive that damn squirrel, and I realized it could revive you. Obviously, Khan was gone, but Spock beamed down and knocked him out. We got some blood, injected it into you, let the transfusions do their thing, and you woke up, two and a half weeks later."

Jim nodded. "Am I... gonna to be okay?"

McCoy smiled. "You should be fine. Up and about like nothing happened." Suddenly his face hardened. "But not until you've at least another week of bed rest, and after that, I still don't want you exerting yourself too much. Okay?"

"Sure thing Bones," Jim smirked, "I'm always good."

McCoy just rolled his eyes. "Oh, of course. You gave us quite the scare. I'm just happy to see you're awake. But uh," he trailed off, glancing at Spock. "We can talk later." He patted Jim's arm and walked out.

After a few moments of silence and avoiding each other's eyes, Jim spoke up. "Have you been here the whole time, Spock?"

"Affirmative."

"Why? Did you guys not know I would wake up?"

"On the contrary; Doctor McCoy was extremely confident about your recovery, and actually predicted that you would regain consciousness on this very day."

"Then why bother sitting here and..." Jim trailed off and glanced at their hands, still intertwined.

"That is a question I have been asking myself, Jim, and I do not know the answer. I do know that you are... You do not seem match any experience I've had with a human."

Jim smiled at this slightly. "I think I got it, Spock."

"Captain?" Spock asked.

"Normally, I'd be attacking your face by now, but I'm actually quite tired. So if you could help me out, Spock, that'd be great."

"I do not understand."

"Well you wouldn't, would you? Vulcan," Jim mumbled as he reached his free hand up to the back of Spock's neck and pulled Spock's face down into a light kiss.

Spock stiffened out of shock for the briefest moment, but that was long enough for Jim to notice. "Spock? You okay?"

"I am... content, captain, and also slightly confused."

"Why? Are you not- you know, seeing as you're content and all that, I believe we can talk about this confusion later, right?" Jim's grin was absolutely irresistible, even for a Vulcan.

"Affirmative, captain."

"Good."

And Spock was already leaning down cupping Jim's cheek before Jim could even prop himself up.


End file.
